Looking Back To Move Forward
Dealing with all that life hurled at me this week should have left me floundering on the ground in pain and grief...but I'm still standing and doing remarkably well. There are a couple of reasons for that: my girlfriend from way, way back, my go-to girl and bestie who moved away 3 years ago drove 4+ hours to come be with me this weekend. She never ceases to amaze me with her generosity and total understanding of how I'm feeling--probably because she faced a Cancer diagnosis with a loved one not so long ago. We are kindred spirits, and we ate together, hugged and she reminded me she would always be here for me. I feel refreshed and energized to face tomorrow!
Tomorrow is the Ride for Pancreatic Cancer, the Glotman-Simpson Cypress Mountain challenge, and 100% of the monies raised go toward research and treatment for pancreatic cancer. Today we met our goal and I am ecstatic, grateful, humbled and a zillion more emotions that our friends would donate out of love for Sam. Our friend, Claire who is doing the bike ride is a friend from my work. She is a charted financial analyst with an MBA and not only an accomplished woman who I look up to, she is kind, caring and gives so much to support cancer causes. She recently lost her brother to cancer and she knows love and loss. Doing this ride for us is very special and we are grateful for the support from Claire and to everyone who donated. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I was thinking today about what makes me truly happy. It's a big question. I've never taken a lot of time to sit down and think about who I am outside of Sam. He's everything to me and coming up on our 31st wedding anniversary this week, I'm looking back. We met in Chicago when I was working as an official court reporter in Kane County. I adored my job. For most of my life from age 16 on, my dream was to work in the courts as a reporter. Finally at age 22 I went to school, graduated and passed the licensing exam and worked for the State of Illinois for a little over 4 years until we married and I moved to British Columbia. The adjustment was beyond difficult. I was suddenly thrust into a new country, a new family and most people here thought I was the strange one!! The laws in BC were such that I never was able to go back to court reporting. Thinking about that, I wish I could have worked longer but things never quite came together. Through the years, and in the process of building our own family, we learned coping strategies for disagreements, we learned how to start and maintain a business (or two!) and I began to realize the dreams I had for myself had been fulfilled through the nurturing of our marriage and family and it was fun working alongside Sam as our businesses grew. To think about quietly sitting down now and letting my true self dwell on what would make me happy is frightening. This is not the time to think of yourself, my brain cries out; Don't think too far ahead -- Today is quite enough to think about. But, I need to think about tomorrow to keep me sane for today. When the day is difficult, I know I can tell myself that tomorrow will be better.
Looking back at God's faithfulness tonight was the topic my friend and I talked about over our salmon and tiramisu! All along this illness, God has provided: the diagnosis was divinely planned, a
little earlier and we would have missed Ireland, a little later and our son would have been at school in California. Our financial needs have been met, business wind downs were painful but came together, friends have provided food and continue to encourage me and lots more. I feel so much gratitude tonight for God's perfect timing.
My prayer tonight is to ask God to restore happiness and the holy joy I seek as I think about the future, allowing Him to guide me. Clear my life and my mind of the clutter and busyness that seek to cause me to be fearful and anxious. Lead me into fulfilling my unique purpose in this season of my life.
In His Time
I was thinking today about what makes me truly happy. It's a big question. I've never taken a lot of time to sit down and think about who I am outside of Sam. He's everything to me and coming up on our 31st wedding anniversary this week, I'm looking back. We met in Chicago when I was working as an official court reporter in Kane County. I adored my job. For most of my life from age 16 on, my dream was to work in the courts as a reporter. Finally at age 22 I went to school, graduated and passed the licensing exam and worked for the State of Illinois for a little over 4 years until we married and I moved to British Columbia. The adjustment was beyond difficult. I was suddenly thrust into a new country, a new family and most people here thought I was the strange one!! The laws in BC were such that I never was able to go back to court reporting. Thinking about that, I wish I could have worked longer but things never quite came together. Through the years, and in the process of building our own family, we learned coping strategies for disagreements, we learned how to start and maintain a business (or two!) and I began to realize the dreams I had for myself had been fulfilled through the nurturing of our marriage and family and it was fun working alongside Sam as our businesses grew. To think about quietly sitting down now and letting my true self dwell on what would make me happy is frightening. This is not the time to think of yourself, my brain cries out; Don't think too far ahead -- Today is quite enough to think about. But, I need to think about tomorrow to keep me sane for today. When the day is difficult, I know I can tell myself that tomorrow will be better.
Looking back at God's faithfulness tonight was the topic my friend and I talked about over our salmon and tiramisu! All along this illness, God has provided: the diagnosis was divinely planned, a
little earlier and we would have missed Ireland, a little later and our son would have been at school in California. Our financial needs have been met, business wind downs were painful but came together, friends have provided food and continue to encourage me and lots more. I feel so much gratitude tonight for God's perfect timing.
My prayer tonight is to ask God to restore happiness and the holy joy I seek as I think about the future, allowing Him to guide me. Clear my life and my mind of the clutter and busyness that seek to cause me to be fearful and anxious. Lead me into fulfilling my unique purpose in this season of my life.
In His Time
In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.
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