Beginning Today....I Learn to Live Again
Yesterday was Sam's Celebration of Life service. It was a day of overwhelming feelings, great fear, physical and emotional waves of weakness and pain and yet, the day unfolded as it was meant to. Many wonderful friends and family came to honour the one man who turned my world upside down 31 years ago. I've had to actually start thinking about the physical reality of him never coming back. My brain played a few cruel tricks this past weekend, trying to convince me he was maybe away at a Rotary meeting last Thursday or gone to a chiropractic conference on the weekend. There just couldn't be a possibility he might never come back to me. But facing the truth is necessary. Thanks to my boss and dear friend, over the past months of Sam's illness, I've had work flexibility and I wanted to get back to work tomorrow in fine form but....I know I'm not ready. I ask myself when will I be ready to start life again. That question and many more questions are waiting pat