Surviving Change...There Is No Right Way
Not a single person I know is desperate for radical change to be heaped upon them. Sometimes change is like a warm sunny day with a twist of a gentle breeze....like when you hold your new baby for the first time...your life is radically changed but in such a wonderful way. When a cancer diagnosis hits, you gasp for breath, your legs go limp and literally the future flashes across your eyes with warp speed. The changes to come are beyond what you can even grasp and you feel as if you have been taken to sea, thrown from the boat and told to sink or swim. Everything you once knew is now changed.
How to survive a change of devastating proportion...here are my thoughts in 5 easy steps:
1. Don't overthink what just happened. What you heard is too heavy to digest. Take a tiny bite of what you heard and breathe.
2. If you feel the need to talk, call a trusted friend. Spilling the details too soon to close family causes a huge emotional wound you will need to bind up later. Let yourself take a day or two to consider what happened and then talk to family members.
3. Everyone wants to rush in to help, but regardless of being told a zillion times to "ask for help," you are allowed to take your time and figure out what just happened. My beautiful friend Candace organized frozen meals for us through the amazing ladies at our church and it was such a huge blessing. Your life will begin being consumed with appointments and medicines and cooking takes a backseat.
4. Be an advocate in the largest way possible for the person who is facing the diagnosis. You can't ask too many questions or call the nurses and doctors too much. If you feel something isn't right, it isn't. My nickname PAG (Pushy American Girl) is well earned but I am committed to leaving no stone unturned in our Cancer fight. When we found there was a Pancreatic Cancer drug trial with immunotherapy starting in Vancouver, I called several times and was told there were already 10 people and that was the limit. Ten, no more, until I pushed and continued asking and Sam became the 11th !! They made space for us in an important treatment trial because we persisted. If being pushy saves my husband's life, I'm onboard! You cannot be too obnoxious and pushy when a life is at stake.
5. Now the most difficult but one we are working on...communication! After all these months, I am grasping the concept (because Sam recently told me) that he wants to resume a "new normal" kind of day to day life. Some people live with illnesses that cannot be cured for months or even years and we are committed to living each day talking about our Kids, our grandkids, our garden, hockey, the fires in the province....anything except did you take your pills and feelings about cancer. It's a mind shift as cancer requires lots of attention, but I am committing to making our home less cancer friendly and just a place filled with love! I'm working on letting positive and encouraging words only flow out!
Change is difficult. Today I met with the lovely young couple taking on our chiropractic clinic. Seeing them sitting in the office was heart stopping, knowing I will be handing it over in about a week. What is happening?...my brain wanted to scream. But...change is also for good. Seeing their positive attitudes and reassuring me that they love being here somehow makes the transition seem like it is right for everyone. The warm breeze of change will settle on me as I trust God to work out the details.
I am thankful for so many wonderful friends and family who encourage and love me. I don't know why this is happening to us, but we trust God for our story to be written His way.
My prayer tonight is for two friends from Illinois facing serious health challenges. I pray that God will pour out supernatural healing on them and feel my love!
How to survive a change of devastating proportion...here are my thoughts in 5 easy steps:
1. Don't overthink what just happened. What you heard is too heavy to digest. Take a tiny bite of what you heard and breathe.
2. If you feel the need to talk, call a trusted friend. Spilling the details too soon to close family causes a huge emotional wound you will need to bind up later. Let yourself take a day or two to consider what happened and then talk to family members.
3. Everyone wants to rush in to help, but regardless of being told a zillion times to "ask for help," you are allowed to take your time and figure out what just happened. My beautiful friend Candace organized frozen meals for us through the amazing ladies at our church and it was such a huge blessing. Your life will begin being consumed with appointments and medicines and cooking takes a backseat.
4. Be an advocate in the largest way possible for the person who is facing the diagnosis. You can't ask too many questions or call the nurses and doctors too much. If you feel something isn't right, it isn't. My nickname PAG (Pushy American Girl) is well earned but I am committed to leaving no stone unturned in our Cancer fight. When we found there was a Pancreatic Cancer drug trial with immunotherapy starting in Vancouver, I called several times and was told there were already 10 people and that was the limit. Ten, no more, until I pushed and continued asking and Sam became the 11th !! They made space for us in an important treatment trial because we persisted. If being pushy saves my husband's life, I'm onboard! You cannot be too obnoxious and pushy when a life is at stake.
5. Now the most difficult but one we are working on...communication! After all these months, I am grasping the concept (because Sam recently told me) that he wants to resume a "new normal" kind of day to day life. Some people live with illnesses that cannot be cured for months or even years and we are committed to living each day talking about our Kids, our grandkids, our garden, hockey, the fires in the province....anything except did you take your pills and feelings about cancer. It's a mind shift as cancer requires lots of attention, but I am committing to making our home less cancer friendly and just a place filled with love! I'm working on letting positive and encouraging words only flow out!
Change is difficult. Today I met with the lovely young couple taking on our chiropractic clinic. Seeing them sitting in the office was heart stopping, knowing I will be handing it over in about a week. What is happening?...my brain wanted to scream. But...change is also for good. Seeing their positive attitudes and reassuring me that they love being here somehow makes the transition seem like it is right for everyone. The warm breeze of change will settle on me as I trust God to work out the details.
I am thankful for so many wonderful friends and family who encourage and love me. I don't know why this is happening to us, but we trust God for our story to be written His way.
My prayer tonight is for two friends from Illinois facing serious health challenges. I pray that God will pour out supernatural healing on them and feel my love!
Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are
You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise
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