Anniversaries...a Time to Reflect

Two years ago today our daughter began chemotherapy for Stage 3b Hodgkins Lymphoma.  I can still remember the day she called me at work.  Her voice was shaking, I instantly knew I was about to hear something life changing. A 10 cm mass was found in her chest....all from a tiny bump in her neck that was yet to be biopsied.  Before a biopsy is done, routine blood tests and a chest x ray were done. Hence, the mass was found.  At the time of the call, we didn't know what this mass was, how long it had been there and what it meant. Further testing brought the lymphoma diagnosis and chemo began. For six months she went to chemo and her strength and bravery shone brightly.  Her amazing husband and three little girls coped beautifully and were cheering her on at each treatment. It's a privilege for a mother to look up to a daughter and admire her strength of character and her courage as she faces difficult cancer treatments. This week she and her three daughters came for several days to comfort me and to lift me up with lots of love.  Her health is good and she has  every reason to remain in remission and to be completely cured.

Our 31st wedding anniversary is coming up on August 16th, another day to remember and to celebrate. Any serious illness brings out the worst in us sometimes. Chronic pain is debilitating and can cause your personality to change drastically. Our oncologist told us that two specific cancers:  brain and pancreatic require huge amounts of calories to sustain the cancer cells and it is virtually impossible to begin to eat enough food to maintain weight. Thus, as weight loss and chronic pain combine, some days the one you committed to can seem unrecognizable.  Those are the times I go back to our marriage vows.  The fairy tale of a prince scooping up his princess and riding into the sunset is just that...a fairy tale. Marriage requires sacrifice, putting another human being before yourself, putting your own dreams and goals on hold for the benefit of the other....not with resentment, but with pure love, sacrificial love. Life is unpredictable, it is raw and painful, it is also filled with beautiful moments when cancer retreats for a bit and Sam and I reaffirm our commitment to walk this road together, and we talk about what is ahead. Those are precious, personal moments that we can reassure one another that neither of us is ever alone.  God created marriage and family for such a time as this. ❤️

My gratitude overflows tonight for all of our kids who came together this week at our house to celebrate us, to help us, to lift us up merely by their presence. Thankful for days with them at the beach, eating lunch on the deck...all in solidarity of this cancer fight.

Dear God, use me for your purpose, Mold me into a proverbs 31 woman, strong of spirit, encouraging in words and may my love for Sam be always and forever.

Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise,

Take my love; my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure-store.
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee,


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